why have i abandoned this? hmm.. well, life generally continues to be shitty. since my last post, we came dangerously close to number five; living arrangements have become strained; shark has been increasingly hellish; and now even my friends hate me. im a selfish, obnoxious, self-centred bitch.. at the rate im going, im going to end up like vck: fat, and old, and despised by all.

weirdly, this has also been a great week: peel, stages, tango, all nighters with apple juice, and ass-croutons etc; all manner of bonding; 92, 88, and another 92; having loved and been loved;cleaning frenzies; and a wonderful bout of inspiration... i wouldnt trade any of that for anything in the world.

hopefully this second part will continue, and the first will drop off and die. hopefully a quick and easy death. all i need is a nice long cry.. why the bloody hell cant i cry? i need some sort of a catharsis.

for now, i'd settle for a nap.