im upset. there, i said it. and i'll say it again: im upset. and im hurting. what hurts more than anything else is the suspicion of doubt.

im smiling because it happened.. but i need to cry, because im sad that it's over.. so i will. i will cry until there are no more tears. i will cry until i am too exhausted (or dehydrated) to cry any more.

and you know me: im going back and second guessing myself, now. i always do. but each time i replay it, i come to the same conclusion. there is no alternative.. unless we were to continue playing games, and making believe. but we're not little kids. we're grown ups.

it's over, and i have to accept that. i DO accept that. but it also did happen. and i wouldnt ever want to take it back. the fact that it happened is hugely important to me.. i cherish each and every memory. and along with these memories, i will always love and value the keepsakes of a happier time.

ring goes on.