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The (possibly) Blasphemous Sermons of St. Dickeybird: Best Lines

Gay boy picks up straight boy with "I'm gonna fuck you like you fuck your girlfriend", or something similar. Fantastic.

Here are a couple:

After sex: "Wow, that was the best sex I've had since the third grade"
I used that one, and after about 2 seconds worth of shock, she laughed. Luckily.

To pick up: "How'd you like a night of the wildest, most passionate sex you've ever had?" After a quick look-up-n-down, I got a 'No'. "Great, wanna come home with me then?"
I was deemed 'cute', and got a good friend. But no sex.

Best pickup line that worked: "Wanna come over and pretend to be my boyfriend?"
Self-explanatory.