Procrastinate

it's reading week, and im sick.
it sucks.
so, im sitting in bed, reading and playing random flash games (like this one) that are worsening my headache, but improving my eye-hand coordination.

off for a nap.

i'll update shrad2005 at some point and tell all about this week.

Oooh!

Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover

You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires. And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek. You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships. It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

The Best Day of the Year

Excellent

Poor Boys...

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday. I'd like to be six again, she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's.

What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well Dear, what was it like being six again?"

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my dress size, you dumbass!"

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

Brain Teasers

1. A father and his son are fishing. The boat capsizes, and the father drowns. The son is rushed to the hospital with hypothermia. The doctor looks at him, and says "I can't operate! That's my son!" How is this possible?
The doctor is the mother

2. A plane crashes on the border of Canada and the USA. Where are the survivors buried?
Survivors arent buried

3. A rooster lays an egg on a slanted roof. Which way does it roll?
Roosters don't lay eggs.

***

I Love You More...

... Than I Did The Week Before I Discovered ALCOHOL

hahaha.

okay. i need to study. otherwise, i'll end up with and exam like this.

PINK!!!

Your Passion is Pink

Innocent and naive, you approach sex with a virginal mindset. You tend to enjoy teasing and flaunting much more than actual sex. You're a notorious flirt, and you can pick up anyone you desire. As a result, your reputation is a lot steamier than your real sex life.

What Color Is Your Passion?

Midterms... 

Classic Kids TV

Adventures of Black Beauty
Against the Odds
Clarissa Explains it All
Don’t Just Sit There
Dusty’s Treehouse
Elephant Show
Eureeka's Castle
Fifteen
Fred Penner's Place
Going Great
Hey Dude
Kids Writes
Livewire
Mr. Wizard’s World
Nick Rocks (Nick Jr. Rocks)
Out of Control
Pinwheel
Rated K: For Kids by Kids
Reggie Jackson’s World of Sports
Salute Your Shorts
SK8 TV
Standby! Lights Camera Action
Third Eye
~Into the Labyrinth
~Haunting of Cassie Palmer
~Under the Mountain
~Children of the Stones
Today's Special
Tomorrow People
Total Panic
Turkey TV
Welcome Freshman
You Can't Do That on Television

Goofy Survey

1. Got a middle name? I do.

I do too.

2. Gender matters, or so they tell me. What’s the deal with you?

Uh.. what gender am I, or what gender do I like? I don't get it. So I'll just answer both. I'm a girl. I like boys.

3. What did you have for breakfast this morning?

Erm.. breakfast? Let's see.. what broke my fast? Er.. I had ketchup chips this afternoon.

4. So, let’s pretend that you’re in the Canadian tundra being hunted by a gigantic rabid mutant wolverine that has been infected with the G Virus. He’s GOING to find you. This is Canada, so there’s no help ANYWHERE within thousands of miles. You have THREE things. What are they?

Why are we pretending this? It could happen! Especially when we go to Alaska. Of course, Alaska isnt Canadian tundra. But.. whatever. Hey wait! There's no help within thousands of miles BECAUSE this is Canada? I OBJECT!! Anyway.. three things.. a gun, a snowmobile, and.. umm.. another person (to throw to the wolverine in case the snowmobile isnt fast enough, and the gun doesnt work)

5. If a tree falls in the forest, and no one’s around except a mime, and it hits the mime, does the mime make a sound?

Depends.. is he a dumb mime?

6. Ramen noodles. Yes or no?

No.

7. Five birds are perched on a fence. You, because you’re feeling sadistic, take out a pellet gun and cap one. How many are left, genius?

Five? Pellet guns don't kill things, do they? If they do, I wouldn't be doing that.. Not due to any affinity with birds; I hate them. I just hate blood more. Ewwness.

8. What color is your hair?

Er.. brown.

What happened to question nine? I'll make one up. 9. Er. What are you watching at this VERY second? An ad for... umm.. a garbage truck driving off a cliff... ah.. Glad ForceFlex Trash Bags.

10. What do you think of Led Zeppelin?

*shrug*

11. Black Sabbath?

*shrug again*

12. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart?

oooooooooooooh... mozart!! side note: they're doing a production of "Amadeus" here next month, I think.. wanna go?

13. Kevin Smith makes brilliant films. True or False?

another *shrug*

14. In the grand scheme of things, what three things would you say are most important to you?

Me.
Myself.
I.

(okay.. that's not true. so sue me)

15. YOU! Cake or death?

Is it chocolate cake?

16. Does elevator music ever remind you of the elevator?

No.. it reminds me of being put on hold.

17. 4 way tag team match. Wayne & Garth vs. Bill & Ted vs. Laurel & Hardy vs. Jay & Silent Bob. Who wins?

Umm.. Bill and Ted. Why? Cuz the sky is so high, and I was born in July.

18. The following quote is said by whom in what movie?
“No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater...than central air.”

My shoulders are getting nice and warmed up from all this shrugging.

19. Got a car? If so, what kind is it?

LOUIE!! He's a 2002 Honda Civic.

20. Can I get a ride?

Maybe. Can I? ;)

21. May I be excused to go to the bathroom?

No.

22. Alright. So you take a part-time job with The Mafia. You are the Godfather’s taste tester. By some string of events you know for a fact that the Godfather’s ravioli has been poisoned by an Irish family that controls another part of town but has been trying to move into the Godfather’s territory. Telling the Godfather that his ravioli is poisoned will arouse suspicion that you are double-crossing the Family. And only an idiot would refuse to taste the ravioli. Remember, The Mafia is like elephants. They never forget. What do you do?

Fake it. It usually works. ;) Okay, dirty innuendoes aside, I would fake it. Like.. Ezma and Kronk when they give the Emperor the poisoned drink.

23. Are you by any chance Catholic?

No.

24. Communist?

No.

25. Hungry? I’ve got a can of chicken noodle soup.

I am. But.. I've got cookies. Cookies beat soup.

26. What do you think of George W. Bush?

He's cute. Like a monkey. I have a tiny bit of a crush on him.

27. Got Milk?

Indeed. "Spoon Milk"

28. “Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson.”, says Elrond. “Unfortunately, you have come at a bad time. We are under siege by orcs from the Misty Mountains who are being led by the Nazgul. You must help us fight. Due to a shortage in armaments, you may only use one weapon. What will you have?” (Sorry kids. No automatic weapons, missile launchers, nukes, rubber chickens, or anything like that can be found in Rivendell).

Erm.. How about "The Matrix" series on DVD, so we can bore them to death.

29. Tell me, citizen, are you Spartacus?

indeed i am.

30. Ozzy Osborne vs. Donny Osmond. Your money’s on...

Donny. He can blind Ozzy with his Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. After all, it IS red and yellow and green and brown, and scarlet and black and ochre and peach, and ruby and olive and violet and fawn and lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve and cream and crimson and silver and rose and azure and lemon and russet and grey and purple and white and pink and orange and blue. :)

31. Who was the 16th president of the United States?

Errr... *blank stare*... so sad. Apparantly AP US History left more of an impression as a matchmaking/personal-ad-writing service than anything else.

32. Hablas tu Espanol?

Nope.

33. Sprechen sie Deutche?

Nein.

34. So, what do you think of Russia?

It's.. big.

35. Are you capable of punching someone in the face?

Very much so. As long as I'm not running the risk of breaking a nail.

36. Have you ever been in a fist fight? If so, what’s largest number of fist fights you’ve ever gotten into in one year?

"Fist fights"... no. I'm not a boy. Slapping someone silly, pulling hair, and ending up sitting on them banging their head against the hardwood floor? Been there, done that. Several times.

37. How would you respond to a question with no wrong answer?

Like this.

38. At an interdenominational church gathering, the building catches on fire. What denomination gets out first? Why?

I was going to answer this, but I decided that I shouldnt be so un-PC.

39. Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?

A ton of feathers. I have a long complicated explanation to this. I KNOW that a ton is a ton, regardless of what it's made up of. But I have a stupid explanation regardless. I'm just not going to embarass myself by posting it.

40. What is the atomic number of Lithium?

Hydrogen, Helium, Lithium, Beryllium... Three. Wow. Amazing how the really annoying songs stick in your head for YEARS.

41. Hey! Whassup room? A/S/L?

Room? I'm not Room. Who's Room?

42. Okay, once and for all. Who is the biggest badass, King Kong or Godzilla?

King and Kong are my slippers. They aren't bad-asses. They're cute. So Godzilla.

43. Do you believe in miracles?

No.

44. Your opinion please. Film, wonderful art form that it is, is still only the bastard child of Theatre. Yes or no? Why?

Of course not. Film is the LEGITIMATE child of Theatre.

45. Idaho. Youdaho?

I da ho. Sometimes. Like in my pink skirt ;)

46. Do you think Smurfs would taste good, or would you just use them to make blue paint?

Eww.. Let's just use them as fluffy throw cushions, okay?

47. If natural selection really works, why do you think Carrot Top is still around?

Erm.. probably cuz people are stupid and eat margarine and contribute to cancer, rather than consuming butter and contributing to heart disease.

48. Say something nice about the person who sent this to you.

But.. I FOUND it. Ha! So THERE!!

49. Say something nice about anyone besides the person who sent this to you. Anyone at all!

James Dean was HOT.

50. What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

What is this swallow unladen with? What are swallows USUALLY laden with?

BLASPHEMY!!

but cool.

Carmen Possum

From Shiloh's Soliloquy


The Nox was lit by lux of Luna
And 'twas a nox most opportuna
To catch a possum or a coona;
For nix was scattered o'er this mundus,
A shallow nix, et non profundus.
On sic a nox with canis unus.
Two boys went out to hunt for coonus.
The corpus of this bonus canis
Was full as long as octo span is
But brevior legs had canis never
Quam bad hic dog; et bonus clever.
Some used to say, in stultum jocum
Quod a field was too small locum
For sic a dog to make a turnus
Circum self from stem to sternus
Unis canis,duo puer,
Nunquam braver, nunquam truer
Quam hoc trio nunquam fuit
If there was I never knew it.
This bonus dog had one bad habit.
Amabat much to tree a rabbit,
Amabat plus to chase a rattus,
Amabat bene tree a cattus.
But on this nixy moonlight night
This old canus did just right.
Nunquam treed a starving rattus,
Nunquam chased a starving cattus,
But succurrit on intentus
On the track and on the scentum
Till he trees a possum strongum
In a hollow trunkum longum
Loud he barked an horrid bellum
Seemed on terra vehit pellum
Quickly ran the duo puer
Mors of possum to secure
Quam venerit, one began
To chop away like quisque man
Soon the axe went through the truncum
Soon he hit it all kerchunkum
Combat deepens, on ye braves!
Canis, pueri et staves
As his powers non longius carry
Possum potest, non pugnare
On the nix his corpus lieth
Down to Hades spirit flieth
Joyful pueri, canis bonus,
Think him dead as any stonus
Now they seek their pater's domo
Feeling proud as any homo
Knowing, certe, they will blossom
Into heroes, when with possum
They arrive, narrabunt story
Plenus blood et plenior glory
Pompey, David, Samson, Caesar
Cyrus, Black Hawk, Shalmanezer!
Tell me where est now the gloria
Where the honors of victoria?
Nunc a domum narrent story
Plenus sanguine, tragic, gory
Pater praiseth, likewise mater
Wonders greatly younger frater
Possum leave they on the mundus
Go themselves to sleep profundus
Somniunt possums slain in battle
Strong as ursae, large as cattle
When nox gives way to lux of morning
Albam terram much adorning
Up they jump to see the varmen
Of the which this is the carmen
Lo! possum est resurrectum
Ecce pueri dejectum
Ne relinquit back behind him
Et the pueri never find him
Cruel possum! bestia vilest
How the pueros thou beguiles
Pueri think non plus of Caesar
Go ad Orcum, Shalmanezer
Take your laurels, cum the honor
Since ista possum is a goner!

--Anonymous

Taking Matchmaking to A Whole New Level.

Interesting.
Kunwari Kudi is just a step away.
Bring on the bio-datas.

why doesnt anyone ever comment on ANY of my blogs?

especially the other two.

i feel very unloved.