Goofy Survey

1. Got a middle name? I do.

I do too.

2. Gender matters, or so they tell me. What’s the deal with you?

Uh.. what gender am I, or what gender do I like? I don't get it. So I'll just answer both. I'm a girl. I like boys.

3. What did you have for breakfast this morning?

Erm.. breakfast? Let's see.. what broke my fast? Er.. I had ketchup chips this afternoon.

4. So, let’s pretend that you’re in the Canadian tundra being hunted by a gigantic rabid mutant wolverine that has been infected with the G Virus. He’s GOING to find you. This is Canada, so there’s no help ANYWHERE within thousands of miles. You have THREE things. What are they?

Why are we pretending this? It could happen! Especially when we go to Alaska. Of course, Alaska isnt Canadian tundra. But.. whatever. Hey wait! There's no help within thousands of miles BECAUSE this is Canada? I OBJECT!! Anyway.. three things.. a gun, a snowmobile, and.. umm.. another person (to throw to the wolverine in case the snowmobile isnt fast enough, and the gun doesnt work)

5. If a tree falls in the forest, and no one’s around except a mime, and it hits the mime, does the mime make a sound?

Depends.. is he a dumb mime?

6. Ramen noodles. Yes or no?

No.

7. Five birds are perched on a fence. You, because you’re feeling sadistic, take out a pellet gun and cap one. How many are left, genius?

Five? Pellet guns don't kill things, do they? If they do, I wouldn't be doing that.. Not due to any affinity with birds; I hate them. I just hate blood more. Ewwness.

8. What color is your hair?

Er.. brown.

What happened to question nine? I'll make one up. 9. Er. What are you watching at this VERY second? An ad for... umm.. a garbage truck driving off a cliff... ah.. Glad ForceFlex Trash Bags.

10. What do you think of Led Zeppelin?

*shrug*

11. Black Sabbath?

*shrug again*

12. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart?

oooooooooooooh... mozart!! side note: they're doing a production of "Amadeus" here next month, I think.. wanna go?

13. Kevin Smith makes brilliant films. True or False?

another *shrug*

14. In the grand scheme of things, what three things would you say are most important to you?

Me.
Myself.
I.

(okay.. that's not true. so sue me)

15. YOU! Cake or death?

Is it chocolate cake?

16. Does elevator music ever remind you of the elevator?

No.. it reminds me of being put on hold.

17. 4 way tag team match. Wayne & Garth vs. Bill & Ted vs. Laurel & Hardy vs. Jay & Silent Bob. Who wins?

Umm.. Bill and Ted. Why? Cuz the sky is so high, and I was born in July.

18. The following quote is said by whom in what movie?
“No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater...than central air.”

My shoulders are getting nice and warmed up from all this shrugging.

19. Got a car? If so, what kind is it?

LOUIE!! He's a 2002 Honda Civic.

20. Can I get a ride?

Maybe. Can I? ;)

21. May I be excused to go to the bathroom?

No.

22. Alright. So you take a part-time job with The Mafia. You are the Godfather’s taste tester. By some string of events you know for a fact that the Godfather’s ravioli has been poisoned by an Irish family that controls another part of town but has been trying to move into the Godfather’s territory. Telling the Godfather that his ravioli is poisoned will arouse suspicion that you are double-crossing the Family. And only an idiot would refuse to taste the ravioli. Remember, The Mafia is like elephants. They never forget. What do you do?

Fake it. It usually works. ;) Okay, dirty innuendoes aside, I would fake it. Like.. Ezma and Kronk when they give the Emperor the poisoned drink.

23. Are you by any chance Catholic?

No.

24. Communist?

No.

25. Hungry? I’ve got a can of chicken noodle soup.

I am. But.. I've got cookies. Cookies beat soup.

26. What do you think of George W. Bush?

He's cute. Like a monkey. I have a tiny bit of a crush on him.

27. Got Milk?

Indeed. "Spoon Milk"

28. “Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson.”, says Elrond. “Unfortunately, you have come at a bad time. We are under siege by orcs from the Misty Mountains who are being led by the Nazgul. You must help us fight. Due to a shortage in armaments, you may only use one weapon. What will you have?” (Sorry kids. No automatic weapons, missile launchers, nukes, rubber chickens, or anything like that can be found in Rivendell).

Erm.. How about "The Matrix" series on DVD, so we can bore them to death.

29. Tell me, citizen, are you Spartacus?

indeed i am.

30. Ozzy Osborne vs. Donny Osmond. Your money’s on...

Donny. He can blind Ozzy with his Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. After all, it IS red and yellow and green and brown, and scarlet and black and ochre and peach, and ruby and olive and violet and fawn and lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve and cream and crimson and silver and rose and azure and lemon and russet and grey and purple and white and pink and orange and blue. :)

31. Who was the 16th president of the United States?

Errr... *blank stare*... so sad. Apparantly AP US History left more of an impression as a matchmaking/personal-ad-writing service than anything else.

32. Hablas tu Espanol?

Nope.

33. Sprechen sie Deutche?

Nein.

34. So, what do you think of Russia?

It's.. big.

35. Are you capable of punching someone in the face?

Very much so. As long as I'm not running the risk of breaking a nail.

36. Have you ever been in a fist fight? If so, what’s largest number of fist fights you’ve ever gotten into in one year?

"Fist fights"... no. I'm not a boy. Slapping someone silly, pulling hair, and ending up sitting on them banging their head against the hardwood floor? Been there, done that. Several times.

37. How would you respond to a question with no wrong answer?

Like this.

38. At an interdenominational church gathering, the building catches on fire. What denomination gets out first? Why?

I was going to answer this, but I decided that I shouldnt be so un-PC.

39. Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?

A ton of feathers. I have a long complicated explanation to this. I KNOW that a ton is a ton, regardless of what it's made up of. But I have a stupid explanation regardless. I'm just not going to embarass myself by posting it.

40. What is the atomic number of Lithium?

Hydrogen, Helium, Lithium, Beryllium... Three. Wow. Amazing how the really annoying songs stick in your head for YEARS.

41. Hey! Whassup room? A/S/L?

Room? I'm not Room. Who's Room?

42. Okay, once and for all. Who is the biggest badass, King Kong or Godzilla?

King and Kong are my slippers. They aren't bad-asses. They're cute. So Godzilla.

43. Do you believe in miracles?

No.

44. Your opinion please. Film, wonderful art form that it is, is still only the bastard child of Theatre. Yes or no? Why?

Of course not. Film is the LEGITIMATE child of Theatre.

45. Idaho. Youdaho?

I da ho. Sometimes. Like in my pink skirt ;)

46. Do you think Smurfs would taste good, or would you just use them to make blue paint?

Eww.. Let's just use them as fluffy throw cushions, okay?

47. If natural selection really works, why do you think Carrot Top is still around?

Erm.. probably cuz people are stupid and eat margarine and contribute to cancer, rather than consuming butter and contributing to heart disease.

48. Say something nice about the person who sent this to you.

But.. I FOUND it. Ha! So THERE!!

49. Say something nice about anyone besides the person who sent this to you. Anyone at all!

James Dean was HOT.

50. What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

What is this swallow unladen with? What are swallows USUALLY laden with?