on the night of October 30th, 2003, you wrote:

"it's so nice. i mean, to know the world isn't ALWAYS against you. and that good things DO happen. i don't even so much mind that i can't sleep."

it is now over two and a half years later, may 13, 2006:

tonight, I'M the one that can't sleep. you see, i've realized that the few good things that DO happen, will eventually turn to shit. it's all part of life's plan to screw you over. first it appeases your suspicion with something good, and makes you lower your guard, makes you expose your vulnerabilities, and then.. BAM! it punches you in the gut, to remind you that the world IS always against you.

it's not as though i hadnt seen it coming. it wasnt unexpected, or out of the blue. but even when you are warned, the punch in the gut still hurts like hell. i suppose it's human nature to be inherently naive and trusting. to believe that despite all obstacles, love will find a way. perhaps i watch too many romantic comedies. i guess i was right, back in October 2003, when i claimed that a relationship can only end in tears.

maybe love is not enough.

or maybe, there just wasnt enough love.