RFotD:
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV.
(And that's why I'm so healthy!)

Weight:
107.8 lbs (!!!!!!!)

Consumption:
Tim's garden vegetable sandwich on a bagel, with cream cheese
Coffee
A few timbits
Vegetable Stirfry
Caesar Salad
A few squares of Peanut Butter Dairy Milk
Udon Noodles
Szechuan Eggplant
Rice


Aimless Ramblings:
How do I always manage to land myself in these ridiculous situations? I mean, really, it cant just be the world being comprised of idiots, as I initially believed, because the common factor is me.. it's GOT to be something I'm doing that is making my life so full of drama. Perhaps I'm putting something out there, as a vibe, that gives people the wrong idea about me. Or perhaps I'm just extraordinarily naïve. Perhaps it's a little bit of both. I don't know.

Let's examine the events of the past few weeks: First, I hook up with Mr. Emotional Baggage… against my better judgment, because of an extraordinarily strong physical and sexual attraction. We rush through things, and then realize that we've taken everything way too fast and decide to take a bit of a break to figure out where we stand. Have a huge fight with The Ex, (by the way, I've decided that it's not very nice to be using people's real names, so from henceforth, everyone will be referred to obscurely) and then make up again as we admit that we still love each other. He buys me extravagant gifts and I tell him that even though I love him, I don't think I can go back to the relationship. We continue as friends, until I tell him that I had hooked up with Mr Baggage, at which point The Ex goes ballistic and starts being extremely harsh and hurtful, and cuts himself off from me entirely.. but not before giving me ample grounds to hate him.

A couple of weeks later (later than the hookup, that is.. and at the same time that the Ex decides he hates me) Baggage and I are out getting drunk with mutual acquaintances, and I kiss him.. just to see whether I'd still feel sparks... or anything. I didn't. He makes me promise him that I will never do that again. I promise. He also says that he thinks it's really good that we decided not to date. The next day, of course, I have sobered up and begin to analyze this. A) When did we decide not to date? B) Why would he ask me to never kiss him again? I thought we just wanted to slow things down and give each other some space to figure things out? Does this mean we're officially never going to pursue anything? Is the whole me + Baggage experience going to be chalked up to bad judgment and a sexual encounter that we both regret as a mistake? I'm very confused about all this.

Last weekend, I got together with an old friend for a cup of coffee. We were quite close in high school: he was at our brother school, and we worked together on several extra-curricular projects for promoting multiculturalism through the arts (specifically dance, so this guy will be known as Dandiya). Our two groups of friends (my circle from our all girls school) and his group ended up merging into one. As this convergence took place, a lot of internal dating started to occur: S and L, (I won't talk about them a lot, so I'm not coming up with monikers for them) who had previously known each other from their ski club, started going out; then Dandiya and my best friend ("Alaska") started dating, and eventually AS (again, probably won't be talking about him a lot) asked me if I would be interested in "adding meaning to all of his words" (such cheese, from an 18 year old..); all of these couplings eventually disbanded... interestingly enough, the breakups also got increasingly messy. About a week after he asked me out, AS dumped me because his mother thought I was a heartbreaker, and basically forbade her son from getting involved in a relationship with me; I was angry and bitter and proceeded to hate him, very cordially, for the rest of the summer. Dandiya and Alaska were together for almost six months, spending the last two together cross-continentally. Things became difficult, and he broke up with her one night, as he realized that he wasn’t willing to commit to her for the long term. They both phoned me that night, and I spent hours hearing both sides of the story. While, of course, I completely backed Alaska 100% (since she is my best friend and I am fiercely loyal) I did also understand what Dandiya’s motivations had been. I don’t think I condoned the way he tackled the situation, but I saw that his intentions were good. He and I stayed friends (and Alaska, though heartbroken, was alright with this) and intermittently kept in touch over the years that we were at university, on a superficial level, seeing each other at parties over the summer etc. This past summer, however, we had both just moved back from university, and we found that we were both freshly single. He was intrigued, and apparently I was encouraging. (I think I need to work on that – there seems to be a fine line between friendly informality and flirtatiousness; and a lot of the time I think people get the wrong impression) Anyway, so Dandiya and I had coffee together the other day. After he dropped me off at home, I noticed to myself that the entire course of the evening had been remarkably date-like. A few days later, during a casual conversation with Dandiya, he asked me out. I indicated that I wouldn’t be able to participate in something like that, regardless of everything else. We’re going to stay friends.

Then, I randomly got back in touch with a guy that I was acquainted with in high school, through an extra-curricular activity that we were both involved in. It was Model Parliament, and he was my party leader, and the Leader of the Opposition the first year I participated, and a fellow caucus member on the Government Side the second. While we weren’t friends, per se, we were well enough acquainted to recognize one another a year and a half later when we happened to walk past each other in the financial district where we were both interning for the summer. We arranged to "do lunch" after which we did the obligatory exchange of contact information that we never intended to use. A year later, on our way to our summer internships, we ran into each other on the subway train, made small talk for the half hour commute, and made empty promises to stay in touch. A little over a year after that, I was drunkenly wandering down the street with some friends, during our homecoming weekend celebrations, and I hear my name being called out. I turn around to see Leader of the Opposition amongst a group of people, grinning at me. I found out that he was in town visiting some friends, and they were having a house party the next evening which he insisted I should come to. I agreed that I'd try to stop by, and gave him my number so that he could contact me with the details. We played a little bit of phone tag, but I didn't end up going to his friend's party. Then, this summer, out of the blue, I received a Facebook friend request from him. Facebook is great for things like this. You can touch base with old acquaintances, and stay in contact without the obligations of friendship, or awkwardness of getting to know someone. In any case, he added me to Facebook and we would intermittently drop a line back and forth. He told me that he was in South America on contract, and suggested we catch up when he got back. When he moved back to the city, he sent me an email to set up a time to meet up for some drinks. We're getting together next week. Is this going to turn into another debacle?


Mood Tracker:
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